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Haitian zombies love chocolate chip cookies. When discovering Americans spent billions on Halloween treats, they assumed treats meant cookies. Consequently, 372,928 zombies hired Mexican coyotes to smuggle them into America.

Homeland Security found out. The President canceled Halloween. Congress provided chain saws to every household. Zombies didn’t know–they don’t watch TV or read newspapers.

Halloween night, zombies went trick-or-treating for chocolate chip cookies. All were destroyed by chainsaws.

Putrid zombie remains were collected, ground, packaged. Falsely labeled “Prime Ground Beef,” 20 million pounds were shipped to China. One pound for every poisonous toy China exported to America.

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